| if i was someone else, would this all fall apart? |
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[27 Sep 2009|09:49pm] |
Its been almost a year since my last update. Time flies. Its nuts!
Its autumn now. Life is life and its good and its bad and i'm happy to be waking up with it every morning.
I still don't know who I am or why I'm here or where I'm going.
I still love the sunrise and the beach at night and warm cuddles.
I still want to have a little black dress night, and I still want to see a play soon, and I still want to watch movies for an entire weekend straight.
I suppose not much has changed. Nothing too important, anyway. People come and people go. Seasons change. Moods change. Semesters fade into one another. I learn every day and I grow and I heal and I flourish, but I'm still who I was when I was 18, and 8, and every year before that.
Maybe one day soon I will eat sushi or thai or indian takeout, and I'll watch the sunset over the ocean, and I'll bundle up in lots and lots of layers and watch the stars from beneath big blankets, and I will feel alive, and I will fall asleep laughing or singing or smiling. That, I think, would be a perfect ending to any day.
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[07 Nov 2008|03:50pm] |
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liiiiist time. things i would like to do soon, include, but are not limited to:
-spend the better part of an evening on the beach, all bundled and junk.
-go clubbin'. hell. yeah.
-watch a scary movie.
-try some kind of indian food.
-sip wine and discuss literature. orrr. just one of those.
-get new frames.
-paint my nails black and paint my lips red and be confident.
-little black dres night.
-some kind of playyyy.
-rake leaves and then jump in them and then rake them again.
-bake an apple pie.
- SAVE MONEY.
-photograph someone beautiful.
-lounge somewhere overwhelming.
-picnic on the grass somewhere.
-passssss this semester. oh baby.
maybe more to come soon!
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[05 Nov 2008|12:50pm] |
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you ask me what i want this year
and i try to make it kind and clear:
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days.
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[25 Oct 2008|08:52pm] |
I am blue today
Calm as glass and cool like the sea
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[26 Sep 2008|11:20pm] |
i cant help but think that theres more out there than this. theres gotta be. its just a question of when i find that something special that takes my breath and closes my eyes and touches my heart.
i'm sick of waitingggggg.
why cant life be just like those books?
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[15 Sep 2008|12:56am] |
you see the young man sitting in the old man's bar,
waiting for his turn to die.
googoodolls love<333.
hate school.
wish it would stop pooring raindrops.
cant wait to do something exciting with my life.
boredboredboredboredugh.
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[24 Aug 2008|10:11pm] |
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let the wind sing us home, a star for each step. love love love love love.
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[12 Jul 2008|09:49am] |
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Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure.
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[22 Jun 2008|01:35am] |
i could explode.
cause you just never,
you never know.
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[09 Jun 2008|05:24pm] |
and all she ever asked me to do
is stay awake to see
a picture perfect moon she'll give me.
she ties a ribbon too,
and with the stars,
she lets me know shes
playing with the sun.
i love summerrrrr.
and all i ever wanted
was for me and the moon to shine.
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[09 May 2008|05:54pm] |
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so today wasnt a complete bust.
- rainrainrain
+money for returned books
+chinese food
+no work!
-two flat tiresss?
+hot chocolate and ladies nighttt
thank goodness its friday.
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[03 May 2008|10:50pm] |
i give my dad entirely all the credit for the music i listen to.
damn hippies.
hes the man.
ah, but working too hard can give you a
heart attack-ack-ack-ack
you oughta know by now
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[18 Apr 2008|05:40pm] |
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summmerrr<3
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[06 Apr 2008|05:04pm] |
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all i ask for is instant pleasure.
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[15 Mar 2008|08:30pm] |
hiiii spring breakkk.
this is going to be a week of new, exciting, bigggg things.
<3!
(i hope)
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[05 Mar 2008|08:48pm] |
i am determined to start living my life one of these days. i am going to break the rules and be badass and live on the edge. and im going to love it. and im going to laugh at how silly it is to frown, because lifes just too short for shit like that.
id rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints,
the sinners are much more fun
!
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[02 Mar 2008|01:48am] |
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its funny, you never think its going to happen, but then you get butterflies, and when you look up, it sure surprises you.
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[24 Feb 2008|12:32am] |
so dont go away.
say what youll say.
say that youll stay forever and a day.
cause i need more time just to make things right.
uhhhmiserable. fuck the snow.
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[06 Jan 2008|12:24am] |
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the hardest part isnt getting back on the horse. sometimes, when you hit rock bottom, the hardest part is admitting to yourself that it isnt that bad. the world isnt really ending, even though that might seem a more appealing choice. its done. whats happened has happened, and you can close your eyes and grit your teeth, but its not going to change. the hardest part is opening your eyes, taking a look around, and realizing that its time to move on. its time to take the tears away and replace them with rationality. when you get down to it, you shouldnt feel stupid for hitting a wall, because it happens to everyone at some point. if anyone is going to judge you on that, well, theyve probably been lying around having life handed to them on a silver platter. thats no way to experience human emotion. thats no way to live. in fact, when you think it out, hitting rock bottom might actually be worth it. you get to let out some much needed frustration, for one, and, in the process, you find the one person who really, genuinely cares. when youre done sobbing into the pillow, and you look up into never ending eyes, you just know its all worthwhile. when he holds you tight, baggy mess and all, you know its true what they say: you take the good with the bad; you cant love people in slices.
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[31 Dec 2007|02:15pm] |
and i know that i am the luckiest.
<3.
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